Stop using “good question!”
The catch and the possible solution
Here’s a catch:
Commenting on someone’s query with “good question” meant to complement, but it is still a judgment — even if we haven’t meant to do that.
Because if there are “good” questions, it implies that there are “bad” questions.
And to those who are now in a hurry to say, “there are no bad questions!”, I’ll reply that I full-heartedly agree; yet it also means that there are no good questions without implementing judgment (as if we’re grading the question being asked…).
I started catching myself and replacing the habit of saying to someone “good question” with “I love/appreciate the question”.
And now for the catch:
When someone hands me the “good question!” compliment, if I accept it — I reinforce the judgment. But if I’d point out the inherent judgment, I might come out as disrespectful/picky/you name it.
*which that, I believe, would be called “a double bind”.
My solution, for now, is to decide according to my sense if this person is open to listening.
I welcome any other thoughts and suggestions.
